July 2015 - On the Treadmill

A Very Long Walk to Freedom

July 21, 2015

I’m writing “my story” because I feel a very strong calling to extract and share the value of the stories I’m holding before letting them go. Underneath this lies a strong but subtle tug toward spiritual freedom. It’s not the only tug; therein lies the challenge.

I’ve done some hard things in my life, but this has got to be the hardest. Though it may sound simple enough, it’s become an extremely challenging and lengthy process for me. Before I can even begin writing, there is a mountain of work to do, and as I strive to move forward, life keeps happening. With each step or two gained, I seem to lose a step or two and find progress to be awesomely slow… as if on a treadmill.

Like in the movie Groundhog Day, my own road to emancipation is a long and cyclical one. Ironically and mostly coincidentally, I happen to be doing this work largely at a treadmill desk! Hence, the name of the blog.

Since this is clearly going to take some time, I created this blog as a space to share a post or two while writing my story. Time will tell how much I’ll be using it.

To succeed with my writing, I need to remain super focused, keeping as much of my attention on “The Work” as I can. Since I also have to keep myself and my family afloat during the long process, my other sincere hope for this blog is that it can help us sustain while I do this work. Since I’m walking my life purpose, and since my intention is to bring value to the world, it would make most sense if this could also, somehow, be my job. Progress would be much more direct that way.

This is where I invite you all into my story. :) As I go, I intend to offer relevant items of value. Anyone interested in supporting my work, or in some interesting items, will be helping me deliver my offering to the world.

I genuinely feel like I have real value to share in this work. That said, there’s an even deeper purpose in play as well. The releasing of my story also clears me for a new beginning – one in which I’ll be free to serve with less encumbrances.

Releasing Gems

Letting Go My Story

July 21, 2015

I feel blessed – like I’m carrying around a gigantic sack of treasures. These treasures are contained mostly within the stories I hold.

As life keeps generating new experiences, the treasure accumulation never stops. But I’m maxed out. My capacity to hold more has reached its limit. Yes, my big bag of blessings has become a burden.

My stories are actually burdening me so much now that over the last many years I’ve closed a hundred doors and pushed away every opportunity that may generate more. As life keeps happening, I keep dodging it, with a steadfast focus on the thing I need to do most.

I need to let my stories go. Yet, I feel it tragic to simply “let go” in the Buddhist sense, without first attempting to transfer the value I’ve been holding. Are my stories all just baggage or have I been holding them so preciously for a reason? I feel an urgency to explore this.

And that’s what brings me here. I’ve begun a lengthy and subtle process that’s most likely heading toward a book.

My desire to write and share gems comes from a very genuine place. Yet I’m also highly aware of Sir Ego idling stage left, eager to lay claim.

In truth, ego is the primary reason I have to do this. I feel corrupted by ego and feel an existential need to shake it off and begin anew. My writing is a way of satisfying the ego while simultaneously releasing its grip. That’s the intention, anyway.

The writing isn’t the challenging part – it’s my complete metamorphosis, channeled through the writing, that makes it a challenge. Though I’m a very private person, this blog is intended to be the public face of this process, with the hope being that it might help make the process more sustainable. [ways to help]

We live in a beautiful world… that’s also more than a little crazy. I think the stories we all carry around have a lot to do with that. I know that my own stories keep me running around in circles. Is it possible to ever really let them go? And if we could, who would we be without them? Might our purpose here become a little clearer – maybe with less detours along the way?

That’s the little experiment I’m drawn here to explore. :)

Little Shares

Small Offerings Along the Way

July 21, 2015

“Releasing Gems,” is the section in which I’ll post some of my “life stories.” The successful capturing and sharing of these stories is the immediate purpose of this whole process.

“On the Treadmill,” is the section for posting some more current stories or shares that are happening along the way.

This section right here, “Little Shares,” is for everything else. My intention here is to post things that don’t fit into the other two sections and can hopefully bring some value.